Hair Care Weblog

What "crazy coil website"? How can I access it? Angela

http://public.fotki.com/NaturallyKendra/

nice that young sistas love themselves enough to have natural hair!!! you are doing a great job raising them!! from Maxine

Livin' Life As If It's Golden!!

Maxine

Thanks--I sent the photo to a couple friends, and they were like, why don't you wear your hair like that when you're 'out', (work, etc). I also received compliments by email from ladies on this site, so I guess I'll wear my 'what country?' ponytail today to work. I have a clinic today so it will be interesting to see people's reactions to it.

Tobi
"just locin by . . ." <just_locin_by@...

thanks for the funny story.....love the hair do!

Hi Claire--

Jojoba oil doesn't have much of a scent. To make scented jojoba oil, add an essential oil like lavender (a favorite for many), grapefruit, peppermint, etc. I like to mix different essential oils to either jojoba oil, or sweet almond oil. Actually sweet almond oil is lighter and actually less expensive than jojoba oil.

I'm sure not about the water question, but I know there are several ladies on this site that could answer that.

Tobi
Claire Taylor <famucpa@...

I have taken the twist out, but unfortunately this is the hottest week of the summer so far and with the humidity it felt like 111 in DC on yesterday. And I had football practice after work. I have been using the Carols Daughter Healthy Hair Butter - which I love. My two questions are based on previous email suggestions.

1. Is distilled water the same as spring water and is faucet water to harsh for my hair?
2. I have been trying to find jojoba oil to make the mixture that someone mentioned on here with .5 bottle of Sta-Sof-Fro with water and jojoba oil. My question has to do with whether jojoba oil should have a scent. This mixture was to help with the smell of Sta-Sof-Fro, but when I was smelling the jojoba oil at the beauty supply store, it didn't have a scent.

Thanks in advance for your assistance.

Claire

Greetings,
As an aside, definitely DO NOT use DC tap water. That mess is
hazardous and is notorious for the high level of toxins and fecal
matter present. Additionally, please be mindful to read the label at
the beauty supply store because I have found that their oils tend to
be blends with other ingredients. My two cents, ya'll...
Cheers,
Lydia

Hi Claire,

1. distilled water, spring water, and tap (faucet) water are all different types of water.
(from dictionary.com):

distilled water:

n : water that has been purified by distillation (n 1: the process of purifying a liquid by boiling it and condensing its vapors)

spring water:

n 1: underground water that is held in the soil and in pervious rocks [syn: ground water, well water] 2: water from a spring

tap water:

n. Water drawn directly from a tap or faucet.

Upon doing hair research I noticed that a lot of the ladies here and on some of the hair boards kept mentioning the distilled water, so I did some investigating myself. Distilled water is supposed to be the best water for your body because it is the "cleanest," if you will. I am going to eventually switch over to drinking nothing but distilled water. You can also buy machines that you can put in your kitchen to make your own distilled water by the gallon. I don't have one, but I'd like to get one.

2. a lot of us have our experiences with the sta-sof-fro spray, so we all have our own little variations of what to mix together to mask the strong smell.

Here is what I posted to the group last month:

I like sta sof fro also but I hate the smell too! What usually helps me is to get another spray bottle and dilute the sta sof fro with water, some essential oils, and infusium leave in conditioner and a little bit of another conditioner like VO5 or something.

best wishes,

Kim

To continue answering your questions, jojoba oil is one of many carrier oils you can use to dilute essential oils. Sometimes I put jojoba oil in the mixture above, or I may use a little olive oil or sweet almond oil. The essential oils that I use are mostly peppermint, sage, and rosemary. I use the peppermint oil the most. I have seen jojoba oil at Whole Foods, but it is very expensive for a small bottle. (almost $20.00.) I'm guessing it did not have a smell because it was pure jojoba oil. The jojoba oil that I use is by Queen Helene. I got it from Sally's and it does have a scent to it, but I like the scent and it is not overbearing.

best wishes,

Kim

Claire Taylor <famucpa@...

1. Is distilled water the same as spring water and is faucet water to harsh for my hair?
2. I have been trying to find jojoba oil to make the mixture that someone mentioned on here with .5 bottle of Sta-Sof-Fro with water and jojoba oil. My question has to do with whether jojoba oil should have a scent. This mixture was to help with the smell of Sta-Sof-Fro, but when I was smelling the jojoba oil at the beauty supply store, it didn't have a scent.

Thanks in advance for your assistance.

Claire

[INLINE]
She is almost 19(August 26) and loving her natural hair.
diva

[INLINE]

[INLINE]

[INLINE]

[INLINE]
My youngest daughter loves her 2 strand twists.

[INLINE]

[INLINE]

diva

I have taken the twist out, but unfortunately this is the hottest week of the summer so far and with the humidity it felt like 111 in DC on yesterday. And I had football practice after work. I have been using the Carols Daughter Healthy Hair Butter - which I love. My two questions are based on previous email suggestions.

1. Is distilled water the same as spring water and is faucet water to harsh for my hair?

2. I have been trying to find jojoba oil to make the mixture that someone mentioned on here with .5 bottle of Sta-Sof-Fro with water and jojoba oil. My question has to do with whether jojoba oil should have a scent. This mixture was to help with the smell of Sta-Sof-Fro, but when I was smelling the jojoba oil at the beauty supply store, it didn't have a scent.

Thanks in advance for your assistance.

Claire

http://search.fotki.com/?q=locs+hair
lots of photos

U look good !!
Kimmy

Thank you...that was funny
All Class Lady <AllClsLady@...

Please take note that I am about to start rambling. I just finished listening to my husband discuss for 20 minutes how they ruined Starship Troopers Movie because they didn't follow the book. (Do i care, that movie was made in 97)
So here goes:

I'm not one to talk about a budget but one way i get some of the things I need is the elusive grocery check. I know Gene's lunchmeat (from the deli) runs about $15 per week, so if i need something thats not in the budget.."Dag honey, can u believe they didn't have Brown sugar ham? I couldn't get honey ham cause I know u don't like it. You can take leftovers to work next week, sorry baby." Or even, "Dag, I forgot about your lunch. Those kids were distracting me, I knew there was a reason I was over at the deli...Don't worry, next week I won't take the kids and I'll remember! Voila! Some money for Kim's needs :) Wait until the last minute to purchase deoderant, it should be on sale next week, instead of getting Dove for the whole house, I'll get a 4 pack for our bathroom and a 3 pack of Ivory for the boys bathroom (i go every week, so next week i'll hook em up with soap and deoderant they should make it another week)
As long as we have food no one is actually checking the grocery bill. "Damn Kim, the grocerys were $250 this week? What are we gonna do when these boys really start eating?" I don't know Gene, baby I just don't know (as I'm cutting price tags off stuff and throwing it in the closet).

Ignore me, I'm crazy like that. But I feel you thats why i still only use the olive oil and let me just say that Lite Olive Oil makes some darn good french fries. I know I've mentioned repeatedly that its $15 at SAms Club for 64 oz. But i've been buying it for years I remember when it was like $8.

Where do you live Trina? Believe me, I know its not El Paso, TX shoot the only nappy here with me is my coworker and she also transferred.

Ok finished rambling now...

Kimmy

Here ya go Debbie: http://www.softspikecurlers.com/
Debbie Reid <empressbernie@...

Hi All,

I have locs that I started in March 2006, anyway I want to know if anyone knows where I can get those spiked curlers. I have been to Walmart and Zellers but they don't sell them. Does anyone know of a website that I can purchase these.

Thx, Debbie

Houston is great too. I am trying to talk my husband
into moving there very soon.

Hi All:
This is a wonderful website that I discovered 2 yrs ago...the
article is called: "What's Hot in Natural Hair"....you may have to
register but joining the site is well worth it.
http://www.niaonline.com
Peace/Blessings,
Cheryl

Kaya,

Thanks so much for this GREAT infomation.

Just passed it on to 8 of my friends.

Kaya Casper <kcasper@...

YMIB.com is a beautiful new online magazine from fellow natural sister
Ericka Turner. Ericka is multitalented - not only is she the owner of
www.JuBella.com, but she is an excellent illustrator, and also the
Editor in Chief of this new magazine.
I was recently interviewed for the premier issue.
Check it out - you may recognize some of the other ladies featured on
the site as well!
http://ymib.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=136&Itemid=102
Kaya Casper
www.NaturallyYouMagazine.com

I love the comic! Thanks!

YMIB.com is a beautiful new online magazine from fellow natural sister
Ericka Turner. Ericka is multitalented - not only is she the owner of
www.JuBella.com, but she is an excellent illustrator, and also the
Editor in Chief of this new magazine.
I was recently interviewed for the premier issue.
Check it out - you may recognize some of the other ladies featured on
the site as well!
http://ymib.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=136&Itemid=102
Kaya Casper
www.NaturallyYouMagazine.com

I plan on moving to Texas September 2007, sooner if I could! I was
in a toss up between Dallas and Houston. I think it's going to be
Dallas!

Hi Storme--

I asked her what country was SHE from, and she was mortified. Then I started speaking to her in French, and she just walked away, baffled.

I figured since she thought I was from another country, I would humor her and speak in a different language too, since she was so interested.

Tobi
Tobi

You have created a new lock style I am going to wear my hair in a What?Country upsweep tomorrow as a tribute to you . I have'nt washed it yet the rod set is just starting to fall so I may not have that great fan out look, I will let you know of any comments. Thanks for a good laugh !!!
Please tell us what you told her. It's going to be 100 degrees in Philly too.

God Bless
Storme

Hi,
Has anyone without locs tried these? If so, do the work well?
Corri

HI Kim,

Sounds like LOVE to me!!!

God Bless

Storme

Hi Loretta,

I started my hair by taking and twisting two sections together and I braiding the ends .

my hair is very nappy so it held up pretty good without many of them unraveling with shampooing etc. I was locked in about a few months , if your hair has a looser curl you can try the tread method I am not that up on the procedure ask Tobi she locked her hair that way.

God Bless

Storme

old album:
www.fotki.com/ SandyG83
new album:
www.fotki.com/ NaturalMiamiSis
I was trying to view both of these...
Kimmy

Thanks Lina! *blush*

I love my hair -- for the first time in my, umm, 26 years. I never thought I'd be able to say that!!

--
Brunsli
2.5 years
www.brunsli.blogspot.com
www.brunsli.com
Or read my interview at http://www.curlyhairsalon.com/sisterlocks-pictures.html

On 7/31/06, Petrolina Okoro <okorolina40@...


Brunsli - you and your friend have wonderful Sisterlocs, Omigosh!! When I am ready to loc, I think that is going to be my route Smiley emoticon

Thanks for the info.

Lina

Trinesha & All
I have to give my husband "props" on the hair situation. When we met
I was relaxed and layered. But early on I introduced him to "the
real me" and I would often just wash & go leaving my relaxed hair
frizzy and pulled back. I would wear rollers, scarfs, headbands
etc.. Once we married, I left my hair lenghty, but when the baby
came it was short & highlighted, I barely could get a comb thru it.
He never said anything. Even through the wigs, accidentally platinum
blond & green mixed hair, weaves (oh and I had a bad curly one :O )
he just made his wise cracks and kept going. The night I went
natural (4th of July) he barely noticed I had just cut off 7 inches
of my hair. He asked me if I was going to sell it in a garage sale
(I am known for selling anything). The next day after I had my hair
shaped up he called me Nelson Mandela (minus the gray) and kept
walking...lol!
Some of these husband's may feel like my mom..."these folks worked
hard so you wouldn't have to wear your hair nappy. This is modern
times!" But shoot my mother is almost 60 yrs old, I can understand
that coming from her. The vows say "for better or worse" and that
should be put in perspective sometimes. It is not what is on the
outside, it is how a person is on the inside. Sometimes my husbands
wardrobe is a little off, I may say something or I might bite my
tongue. Certain things like the "sandals & socks" I MUST speak up
(truly embarrasing), but in my opinion hair is an expression of who
you are as an individual. If a hair style is going to change the way
your spouse feels about his marriage...it seems like he has the
problem and it is much more than a hairstyle that is bothering him.
Keep your heads up ladies!
Peace & Blessings



Brunsli - you and your friend have wonderful Sisterlocs, Omigosh!! When I am ready to loc, I think that is going to be my route Smiley emoticon

Thanks for the info.

Lina



Question -

Are the sizes of the curlers distinguished by color too? How do you know which size is right for you?

Lina

Hi Lina,

The colors are just for fun -- you can pick the one you like. Most women with locks like the small ones. My friend blogged about them here: http://mysisterlocks.blogspot.com/2005/12/soft-spike-heaven.html

HTH,

Brunsli

On 7/31/06, Petrolina Okoro <okorolina40@...


Question -

Are the sizes of the curlers distinguished by color too? How do you know which size is right for you?

Lina

Ladies,
I think we are all guilty of this at one time or another, but if at
all possible please try and eliminate some of the previous posts when
responding to a message. It is really hard on the eyes to see a
response followed by several previous posts. I think the subject
should pretty much cover what is being responded to. I'm honestly not
trying to be petty, but its really aggrivating to have to constantly
look at this.(common courtesy)
Thanks kindly,
Lydia

I love TX. Love it, Love it!! NO state or city taxes, NO garnishments (unless u don't pay your taxes, student loans or child support---Not that I'm saying I should be getting garnished by anyone), I love the schools (for the most part- and I have an ADHD 11 yr old and a BiPolar 9 yr old), the schools are great!! Housing prices are good, job market is good. I love TX, I don't love El Paso, TX and I'm looking forward to moving back to Dallas/Fort Worth area - - Go Aggies! Go Aggies!
Our move from Detroit to Dallas 9 yrs ago was the best decision we could have ever made. LOVE IT!! I am truly saddened by the sad state that Detroit is in, I am constantly trying to get some of my family to come out here...oh well.
DFW is so diverse!! Every race, I have never experienced any form of racism other than the one lady that asked me if my kids have the same dad, Gene and I were unique being a black couple vs mixed relationship.
El Paso sucks, if you're not hispanic then you're dirt.
Ok don't ask me my opinion of TX, cause apparently i'm biased.
Kimmy

Hi Valerie and All:
I am interested in the soft spike curlers....I now use the cold
wave rod curlers usually the thin and medium sized ones...My locs come
out wavy and curled...I think the correct website address is
http://www.softspikecurlers.com/index.htm... Are these curlers used
the same way ?
Cheryl (Balto)

Hello all,
I am a newbie here and was referred by a friend. I have a request that
if anyone knows of any loctician in the Greensboro, NC area to please
let me know. I will be moving there in 2 weeks and will miss my
loctician terribly. However, I will have to find a new one seeing as
how I won't be in driving distance. I would appreciate any referrals.
Thanks.
Wonderfully Loc'd,
Shearron

Thx Brunsli and Valerie,

This is what I was looking for.

Debbie

Ladies,
I wear wash n' go's and really don't deviate from that, but would like
to encourage more growth. While I am not expecting 'miracle growth', I
am moreso curious as to if a different maintenance method enhances
this. I've noticed that alot of curlies do twist outs and I initially
thought it was performed to enhance their curl pattern if weak, or
simulate curls for transitioning permies. I already have well formed
curls, so I thought this was not needed, but I believe I am wrong by
maintaining this opinion.
My hair is approximately six inches in length and I have followed the
rules of trimming ones' hair, in fact the last trim was 2 weeks ago
and my stylist swears my hair is very healthy. My routine varies, as I
am a complete product junkie and experiment often. Generally, I
co-wash with either Elusense and local honey or Suave Vanilla and
local honey. (local honey from my farmers market sold by a VA
beekeeper)I shampoo about once a week, (Elusense or BBD Triple Slip)
or twice if its humid and I have been sweating. Plus, I swear by Mixed
Chicks Leave- In and Oyin Frank Juice.
I don't wear a scarf or use a silk pillowcase, but am beginning to get
irritated at waking up with a 'gumby'- my hair is super pressed
against my head and in a nutshell I feel like I could do more in the
area of maintenance. I would also appreciate suggestions for poo bars
that are moisturizing, rather than clarifying as most that I have
tried tend to dry my hair out. I am eyeing the Anita Grant product
line, but want to wait until I need enough to place a large order
because the shipping is cost prohibitive for a small order.
I would appreciate your feedback.
Thanks kindly,
Lydia

have any of you tried the afrokinks hair products?
--
Shay

I have the same problem. I had a lot of breakage in the center of my head at the end of the year last year (before I found motowngirl.com, nappturality, and this site) and my hair is really long in the front and the back but very short in the middle. I cant rock a full fro because the short part makes my hair appear flat in the center. I have found that i can do comb twists, braid out and twist outs with twists or braids in the front. I cannot braid or twist so I have them professionally done. Now I live in Memphis, TN and there are no natural hair care salons that I have found that style natural hair. They either lock or braid and that 's it. I have found that a lot of "permie" stylists will allow me to come in (I often bring my own products) and will wash, condition and style my hair but I have to walk them through the process. The one I have been going to quite regularly is really interested in learning about natural hair and even keeps a look out for new styles
and products. When I have to style myself I have found that if I cut those large rubberbands (Thanks Diego2memphis for the tip, you can check out her site for pics) and brush my hair back (I add a little water and gel to get the full wave effect going) and tie the band tight across the top part of my hair, it appears even and I add a scarf or headband over it and its really cute in my opinion. If you had a stylist you used when your hair was permed you might want to hit her up and see if she is willing to style your hair in the twists or braids for you. I normally get mine twisted or braided across the front (she uses rubberbands or bobby pins to keep them in) and roller set in the back. It helps stretch the short part of my hair and when I run my curl cream through during the week it looks really cute and curly. Hope this helps!

On 7/28/06, Catrina <young_mom_25@...

It isn't long enough to pull into anything. I can make little puffs, but since the top is longer than the back, it doesn't look too good. I've tried to corn row the top but it doesn't stay braided. I will try it again in about two months.

Trina
Tamara Prosper <tgprosper@...

Hey Trinesha

I actually created a "bun donut" from a cotton dress sock. You cut the toe part off, then roll it from toe to top, and it looks like a donut. if you want the sock to be smooth, you can insert this donut into a knee high, cut the toe part off, then roll the knee high up and around the sock bun for a smooth donut.

My sister flat ironed my air dried hair (using ceramic flat iron and melted shea butter). I then made a ponytail using a small ouchless holder (the thicker ones). I then put the ponytail hair thru the middle of the bun donut, and spread out the hair over the donut, then pin in place. (like the center of a daisy)

if your hair is not long enough, you can use sponge rollers. Do the ponytail, fan out your ponytail like a daisy, then take foam from the sponge roller and pin it back and inward, towards the ponytail holder. you may need about 6 sponge foams for shorter hair, that way you can pin them closely and it looks continuous and even.

Hope that helps Smiley emoticon

Blessings.

Lina

i wanted to share this blog I came across after locking for natural hair stuff...it was an interesting read. http://terrencesays.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_terrencesays_archive.html

Friday, December 02, 2005

"I Am Not My Hair" - India.Arie

"I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations. I am the soul that lives within."
Empowering. This is the way I would characterize India.Arie's new song, "I am not my hair", which is blowing up the airwaves. I love this song. Not that I have ever had a complex with my own dome's God-given thickness (When I let it grow. Now,I sport the bald look.), but so many black folks do. Men included.
The hair complex or the hair hierarchy - "good hair", "bad hair", "good grade", "nappy", "wooly", "kinky", "cocoa buds", etc. - within the black community is used to describe black folks with a certain grade of hair. The terms we use for our hair have been a great source of debate and division in our community.
Some black folk obsessed so with their hair texture and look that barbershops, beauty shops, and black-owned/operated hair care companies (and now mainstream firms) have made millions from "straightening" hair. There definitely has not been a shortage of hair care related businesses in our community for over 100 years.
"For most of the 20th century, small retail and service establishments and black hair care product manufacturers were the bedrock of black business," according to Dr. Juliet Walker, author of "The History of Black Business in America". However, since 1998 the dominant black hair care companies have been acquired by mainstream firms, which until recently have not given a damn about black peoples hair.
In 2000, Dallas-based Pro-Line Corporation, which became one of the largest black businesses in the nation with more than $100 million in annual receipts and markets in 43 countries, sold out to Chicago-based Alberto-Culver, makers of VO5 and Molly McButter (Go figure). The acquisition marked an end to a nearly 100% dominance by black hair care firms on the black consumer market in the sale of hair care products and cosmetics.
Here's more history
-In 1993, majority-owned IVAX, a Florida-based generic drug company, acquired black-owned Johnson Products Co.
-In 1998, L'Oreal buys Chicago-based black-owned Soft Sheen.
-In 1998, Carson Inc., creator of Dark & Lovely and Magic Shave for black men, acquired black-owned beauty company Johnson Products of Chicago.
-In 2000, for $250-million dollars L'Oreal snapped up Carson and merged it with Soft Sheen, which it had purchased in 1998. To satisfy federal anti-trust regulations, L'Oreal agreed to sell Carson's Johnson Products name, Gentle Treatment and Ultra Sheen Supreme hair relaxer brands. L'Oreal recently relocated the subsidiary from Chicago, its long time headquarters, to New York.
-In 2000, Alberto-Culver USA acquired Pro-Line, creators of the Just for Me and Soft and Beautiful brands.
-In 2000, Wella USA acquired the Gentle Treatment and Ultra Sheen brands created by Johnson Products.
-In 2003, Procter and Gamble buys Wella.
As you can see, majority firms are "browning" their portfolios, as the browning of America takes place.
In 1910, Madame C. J. Walker became the first black woman self-made millionaire by being a manufacturer of hair care and skin care products for black people. She was trained by St. Louis' Annie Minerva Pope Turnbo Malone, who later became a millionaire herself by selling her "Poro System" for hair. Hair care then became big business in the black community.
Now almost 100 years after Walker reached millionaire status, black-owned hair care companies run less than 40% of the black hair care market after dominating it for nearly a century. Black owners made megabucks selling those companies to white firms.
So why would savvy black business men and women sell large black consumer-oriented companies at a time when black buying power is increasing? Surely, to build wealth, but did Homer Cottrell, former owner of Pro-Line, and others see the writing on the wall? Perhaps.
Did they know that natural hair styles would take off all over the globe as black people the world over became more comfortable in the skin they're in? Perhaps.
Black people are still using perms in their hair, no doubt, but more and more are becoming FREE. FREE. Liberated. Natural hair is a steady booming business for black salons and barbershops. More blacks are opting for the natural looks of twists, braids, locks, cornrolls, shaven, and the Afro. Male and female flight attendants are wearing braids. Brothas are wearing locks to work on Wall Street. And children are sitting in classrooms across America with Afros to the heavens.
Whether those new black subsidiaries of mainstream companies will be obsolete in the next 100 remains to be seen, but a healing is taking place (as evidenced by India.Arie's new song) in Black America; and it goes deeper than hair too. We are finding ourselves.
I find it ironic that Madam CJ Walker started what would become a million-dollar hair care empire in Denver, Colorado - the same city India.Arie was born. With all due respect to one of our first black millionaires, I wonder what would Madam CJ Walker think about India Aire's new song?

Trinesha [INLINE]

Bad weaves and obviously fake hair color.

I don't have a problem with people wearing fake hair...to each is own. But I don't understand why people make it so obvious that it's fake. I'm not talking about the sisters who were nearly bald on Friday and have waist long hair on Monday either. If the weave is tight it's alright. But for those who let us see the tracks, or worse - THE GLUE! - boooooo! I especially hate when famous people have bad weaves. t's one thing for the sister on a budget who let her little cousin put hers in (though I still find a bad weave tacky) but for people with money, stylists, publicists, etc., the weave should not shout, "Look at me, I'm a weave!!!"

Obviously fake hair color bugs me. I'm into accesorizing but I stop at matching my purse with my shoes. My hair need not match my outfit. It should match my complexion. Have you ever seen the "ghetto prom" forwards? I've gotten a few lately and they are HORRIBLE. It's bad enough that the children are attending a school event dressed like the cast of HBO's "Pimp's Up Ho's Down" but their hair is fried, died, laid to the side and making all kinds of geometric shapes and colors. It looks like a kindergarden play-doh creation. Where are the parents? Especially for the girls. Sorry, I'm on a tangent now. Anyway, I've seen some of the worst hair styles on those forwards.

Please support N.O. Place Like Home by making your online purchases at http://buyforcharity.com . You will find many of your favorite online stores like Barnes & Noble, Baby Gap and Circuit City and N.O. Place Like Home will receive up to 35% of the cost of your purchase. You can also purchase or renew your magazine subscriptions at http://www.magraise.com/NO-Place-Like-Home.html. N.O. Place Like Home will receive 50% of the cost of your subscription.

Be a blessing to someone and you will be blessed

[INLINE] Tamara Gaskins Prosper

It works best from a bra that can be either strapless or with the strap. I use the one that has a hook on both ends. I like it because my hair is so thick you can't see the headband, just the pushed back look.

Thanks for the info Tobi. great locs
I just recently began to get interested in locs not to long ago. I've been natural since 2002 and never really thought of locing so soon...I liked them and wanted to get locs oneday but I wanted to have someone get them started and maintain them for me until they get to where i can do them myself. And then to I liked that i had more versitility in loose natural hair than with locs. Though I didn't know too much about the sisterlocks and the more I look into them the more I like them because I am one of those type people whom styles change with the wind... one minute it's one way and the next minute it another so i still want to keep my versitility. so now i am debate all the different techniques of getting them started and the options.
Tobi-Velicia Johnson <tvelicia@...

My stylist locs my hair by twisting it at the root, and then tying the root with thread. This is a good technique for softer hair that's difficult to loc. Only problem is the thread doesn't always come out, and sometimes you can see it up close. But sometimes the thread embeds in the hair and keeps it loced.

My son Daniel's hair is thicker and more coarse than my hair, and doesn't need thread at all. I twist my son's hair at the root as it grows out, using Jamaican Mango and Lime Loc Gel. I took two photos of his hair today and posted them in my Fotki album. You can also see a close-up photo of the thread technique in my hair.

http://public.fotki.com/tvelicia/locs

One of these days, I'll add more pictures of my own hair, but I'm not very inventive with styles at all. My locs are getting longer, but they're big locs and when I put them up in a ponytail, the locs stick out all over the place. The other day, due to the 100 degree heat here in Chicagoland, I had it up in the ponytail, and was wearing an ethnic-print sarong skirt with a tank top while sitting out on my front porch reading and sipping lemonade.

I almost fell out when this white lady passing by asked me what country did I come from! Come to think of it I'm going to post a photo of that hairstyle right after I send this email...It's 100 degrees today and I'm wearing my "what country are you from" ponytail right now.

Tobi

Hi all..
Pretty much a lurker here...I come out every once in while..
I have a question...I want to loc my hair.
I would like to start and maintain them my self,for several reasons
one I like doing my own and the other is I am "post divorce" and
really can't budget a loctician in at this time...maybe later.
All that said...any self starters have suggestions?
I have gone through the site ..most have started with longer hair or
the locs are now formed and long...My hair is 2-3 inches.
I appreciate the information.
Loretta

That was very well stated Tamara... I wish i had you in my corner to help give advice to a friend of mine who was trying to go "natural w/ a hubby" :~). every time i think about the situation (below) i think of it letting a "kinky" friend up a stream without a paddle cause i didn't know what to say or do to help her continue to press on cause i didn't want it to hurt her marriage, i didn't have any advice cause i was not in the same situation.

see i am single and to me it was easy for me to say oh i'm going to go natural with out having to really talk to my better half, true enough at the time I was seeing someone when I transitioned and I told him about it and what i planned to do and he seemed okay about it UNTIL i kut it all off and that's when all heck broke loose, though i didn't care cause he was just someone i was dating and we didn't last long anyway.

but back to my friend... she wanted to go natural though she was not quite confident in her kinky short afro just yet. She already wore a short crop relaxed hair style so I told her it would not be that much of a dramatic change cause she is use to having short hair, whereas when I cut mine I went from past shoulder length relaxed to a TWA and worked it from there and that was big change :) Anyway, she eventually cut off her relaxed ends slowly until it was all gone but she always wore something covering up her true natural hair: a scarf, a wig or extension braids or something to cover it up and didn't want anyone to see her hair at it's natural state not even her husband. I continued to coach with her and gave advice about natural hair whenever she needed it and she was getting excited cause whenever she would washed it she noticed the growth and was liking her natural look... but she would cover it up cause she wasn't ready to rock a short afro and was wanting it to be
long enough for twists. I respected her choice and continued to help, I purchased items for her like what I used to help get her started and told her i would do her first set of twist and didn't mind helping her keep them up.

After about I think a year or so she came to me and told me she was ready to have her hair twisted I was like KOOL! I did single strand twists on her hair and she liked it when she looked in the mirror and she said "That's me! I like that look, i can do this" so i told her to come back in about 1 and a half or 2 weeks and I'll redo them and give her a trim and we will continue that until she is comfortable with doing her hair herself, that was the plan. awhile later when it was getting close to time for me to redo her hair I'd emailed her and asked if she was ready for me to retwist her hair and she told me that her husband told her to get a perm, not directly in those words ... but more so....she said she tried to debate the point as to why she should wanted to wear her hair natural and she said he told her he was tired of all those wigs, and weaves, etc and that he wanted her to wear her own hair and she said that is her hair and he said no your hair-- straight (with a
perm). I really didn't know what to say to her cause i was not prepared for that type of outcome but i didn't want her to loose her husband over a hair style so i just left it alone. later i thought about it and realized it wasn't the different "wigs, and weaves and braids, she's been wearing those styles a long time before and he would have said something when she was doing that long time ago, it was more so the fact that she was kinky and she was finally letting it show. Thus, she went and got a perm and she called me and was sad and told me that she saw that it had grown out long and thick when they put the relaxer on to striaghten it and the stylist cut off alot of her length to put it in a style that she use to wear.
Tamara Prosper <tgprosper@...

I hope my husband doesn't change his mind like that. When we met I had straight hair just past my shoulders. When we married it was at my bra in the middle of my back. We discussed my going natural before I did it and he was all for it. I recently found out that he didn't like my hair when I first cut it but at the time he was very supportive. Now he really loves it and asks that I never perm my hair and told me that I CANNOT perm our daughters hair. He wears locs now. Anyway, I think it can be tough for a spouse to deal with something that they don't really like and didn't have to deal with in the beginning of the relationship. My husband tells me that when he retires he wants to get a few gold teeth (the ones that can be taken out). We live in New Orleans and they are very common here. I'm glad that he knows how unprofessional they look so he has enough sense to wait until retirement, but YUCK! I didn't meet him with gold teeth and personally I think they are very
unattractive. The actually turn me off. He looks at it like a black New Orleans thing and I just don't get it because I'm from the suburbs of Philly. Anyway, I'll still love hime but if he gets gold teeth I won't want to be seen in public with him while he's wearing them. I know I've got to get over that but that's how I feel. Unfortunately, some people think that way about natural hair. Now if I had met him with gold fronts and then he decided to take them out and show is natural pearly whites, I'd be very happy. That's what God gave him. But we've been so brainwashed that many of us see our God-given natural texture as abnormal...even embarrassing. I guess I'm just trying to say that I can see both sides. He shouldn't bash the crowning glory that God gave her, but now she changed what he thought was a good thing. Who knows how I will react if I can't convince my husband to keep his teeth the way they were when we met.

Please support N.O. Place Like Home by making your online purchases at http://buyforcharity.com . You will find many of your favorite online stores like Barnes & Noble, Baby Gap and Circuit City and N.O. Place Like Home will receive up to 35% of the cost of your purchase. You can also purchase or renew your magazine subscriptions at http://www.magraise.com/NO-Place-Like-Home.html. N.O. Place Like Home will receive 50% of the cost of your subscription.

Be a blessing to someone and you will be blessed

[INLINE] Tamara Gaskins Prosper

I agree with the trophy wife theory, and it could also be that someone is saying something negative to him about you and he is trying to get him/her/them to shut up...especially if it's his (gasp) mother.
- Latasha
MY BLOG!
BUY A T-SHIRT HERE!
LOCCorg.com
"America Bless God" products at CafePress
"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her."
David Brinkley

My stylist locs my hair by twisting it at the root, and then tying the root with thread. This is a good technique for softer hair that's difficult to loc. Only problem is the thread doesn't always come out, and sometimes you can see it up close. But sometimes the thread embeds in the hair and keeps it loced.

My son Daniel's hair is thicker and more coarse than my hair, and doesn't need thread at all. I twist my son's hair at the root as it grows out, using Jamaican Mango and Lime Loc Gel. I took two photos of his hair today and posted them in my Fotki album. You can also see a close-up photo of the thread technique in my hair.

http://public.fotki.com/tvelicia/locs

One of these days, I'll add more pictures of my own hair, but I'm not very inventive with styles at all. My locs are getting longer, but they're big locs and when I put them up in a ponytail, the locs stick out all over the place. The other day, due to the 100 degree heat here in Chicagoland, I had it up in the ponytail, and was wearing an ethnic-print sarong skirt with a tank top while sitting out on my front porch reading and sipping lemonade.

I almost fell out when this white lady passing by asked me what country did I come from! Come to think of it I'm going to post a photo of that hairstyle right after I send this email...It's 100 degrees today and I'm wearing my "what country are you from" ponytail right now.

Tobi

Trinesha <trshaye@...

oh okay, did you twist at the root when time to retwist?

Hi Storme--

I think we could wash our locs with conditioner as long as it's not a heavy conditioner that's difficult to wash out.

I've been wanting to try it since my hair has been a little drier than usual due to this Chicago humidity. I always thought humidity would keep my hair moist, but it doesn't.

Tobi
Tessa,

It means washing your hair with a conditioner , I just learned this myself I have not tried it my hair is locked but the loose sisters are big fans of this method .

God Bless

Storme

Okay I will check out the links you posted

Trina
"Miss Angela S. Cook" <prosperousone2004@...

Wow Dawn! You really have made progress with the growth of your hair--it's thick, healthy and beautiful!

Tobi
ask nicely & I just might tell <dizexhaled@...

Hi all, I just updated my album and wanted to share. Thanks in
advance for checking it out! http://public.fotki.com/dizexhaled
also my buddy has a hair album, stop by and show her some love
www.thiastyle.com
we are both looking for some feedback and ideas!
Be Blessed! Dawn (in Philly)

Tessa,

It means washing your hair with a conditioner , I just learned this myself I have not tried it my hair is locked but the loose sisters are big fans of this method .

God Bless

Storme

thesky,

Lock your hair or go TWA.

God Bless

Storme

I just reviewed you style ideas that you posted, I like the natural bun and have been trying to do that before i it did come out right, usually i end up leaving my hair in a puff ball once it is pull back...how did you do the natural bun. :)
Petrolina Okoro <okorolina40@...

HI there - I have added a medley of pics from my fotki album for those who have "styling blocks" every now and then. A lotof members have great pics in there!

Thanks for the reminder Kaya!

Blessings,

Lina

It's the same as the 'no-poo' method--washing hair with conditioner instead of shampoo.

Tobi
skittax82002 <skittax82002@...

Hello all.
Excuse me if this question has been asked and answered, but I've
notice people using the term "co-wash". What does this mean?
Thanks in advance,
Tessa

Hello all.
Excuse me if this question has been asked and answered, but I've
notice people using the term "co-wash". What does this mean?
Thanks in advance,
Tessa

What do you consider to be the worst hair styles of today?

thesk1984y,

The products you use will depend on what style you're wearing. The most important should be your shampoo, condtioner & moisturizer/oil. You can use natural products that you can find on www.carolsdaughter.com or @ the Wholefoods market chain. You can also try your local natural/herbal stores. You have to find products that you are comfortable with. It's trial & error. I've been natural for 9 yrs and I'm still learning about products and how to care for my hair.

As far as combating gray hair it's natural also. Mother Nature controls that. You can cover your gray with a rinse. Other members here can give you suggestions for natural rinses or you can check the message archive.

Much success on your journey.

Jazzy R
thesky1984 <thesky1984@...

What tips can you give me on being able to maintain healthy hair? What
is the best product to use to combat gray hair?

What tips can you give me on being able to maintain healthy hair? What
is the best product to use to combat gray hair?

Hello!
I have a question about two-strand twists - for anyone who leaves them
in for 1-2 weeks. Has anyone tried to co-wash with the twists left in
or do you untwist, co-wash and then re-twist after rinsing. It is time
consuming for me doing it the latter way rather than former. I was
wondering if it will get frizzy if I co-wash while the twists are left
in regardless of the twist size? Please offer feedback. Thanks!
Di
A Surrendered Heart Remains Surrrendered
<///

Hi Nneka,
I've been busy and got behind in checking my Naturally You emails that
I had accumulated so many!
By the time I got to your email regarding the New York invite, it was
already past the due date. PLEASE let me know when you have another
Living Room Conversation in your home. Thanks so much.
Di
A Surrendered Heart Remains Surrrendered
<///

What shampoos do you think would be best for my very smooth hair?

What do you think would be a good hair style for a hard working single
mom like me?

I have updated my album...

www.fotki.com/ntrlmystik

Congrats Sandy!!! YAY the baby is here Smiley emoticon and she is so cute ! Thanks for naming her after me LOL!! (Just kidding, of course!)

Big hug to the both of you!

Blessings,

Lina

Hi all, I just updated my album and wanted to share. Thanks in
advance for checking it out! http://public.fotki.com/dizexhaled
also my buddy has a hair album, stop by and show her some love
www.thiastyle.com
we are both looking for some feedback and ideas!
Be Blessed! Dawn (in Philly)

Aww shucks, Kaya! well sure :0)

This was done on air dried hair stretched out in twists, then lightly flat ironed on low heat, although the brave ones can do a blow-out.

Prime the hairline with a mixture of aloe vera gel and your fav moisturizer.
For a little more control, I use B5 design gel by Aubrey ORganics, but any natural gel should do.

A medium size ouchless headband was used. I pull the head band through my hair and let it rest like a necklace on my neck.

While hairline is damp with gel and moisturizer, I use a boar bristle brush to smooth the hair from the hairline to the ears.

Then, like I am about to clap my hands with applause, I use my thumb and index finger to balance the headband past my face, letting my palms smooth over my hair to the ears.

I then adjust the placement at the nape and tie the front with a scarf. You can fluff the fro portion, or you can do big twists or braids for a chunky effect.

And Voila! There you have it Smiley emoticon

You can take the puff lower, past the ears and do a ponytail as well.

Thanks so much for the feature and I am honored to share all I know with such wonderful guys and gals.

Blessings,
Lina

www.softspikedcurles.com is the web site for spiked curlers . Valerie

Debbie,
Do you mean these?
http://softspikecurlers.com/
The owner made them for her daughter, who was into Celtic dancing. When they started to take off in the locked community, she asked for a locked model and Jazzi volunteered (See http://brunsli.blogspot.com/2006/03/calling-all-soft-spike-users.html).
Most locked women I know prefer the small size. (both Sisterlocked and palm-rolled.) Rumors are that she'll make an extra long size for people with long locks.
HTH,
Brunsli
--
Brunsli
2.5 years
www.brunsli.blogspot.com
www.brunsli.com
Or read my interview at http://www.curlyhairsalon.com/sisterlocks-pictures.html

On 7/29/06, Debbie Reid <empressbernie@...

Hi All,

I have locs that I started in March 2006, anyway I want to know if anyone knows where I can get those spiked curlers. I have been to Walmart and Zellers but they don't sell them. Does anyone know of a website that I can purchase these.

Thx, Debbie

Ladies, have you been to the group website lately? I just had to
highlight our sister Lina on the group homepage, with her fabulous low
puff. Lina, care to share how you did it?

Sorry to dissapoint ladies, but Oprah's hair is pulled back,
ponytail style. I saw the mag in the grocery store the other day...
On another note, i have to thank all the people in this eCommunity
for all great advice and support. It is truly helping me in my
natural hair journey.
Thanks!
Peace

Hi Trina!
You can find the spiral/rod rollers at any beauty suppy store. If you
are on a budget straws work as well. However, it is hard for me to
sleep in straws :) The rods are soft and I used to be able to just
roll my hair up, tie it in a scarf and sleep all night with very
minimal discomfort. Also if you decided to use the rods, be sure to
spiral from bottom to top. I had to learn that the hard way~ The
rods come in many different sizes, the skinner the rod the tighter
the curl. You want a size that will hold the style, but not so
tight to where the hair gets tangled....Keep Hope Alive! :)
Peace & Blessings....Jolie~

Kim, you have given advice that we all need and could use!

Tobi
Kimberly Shaw <shortycocoa@...

Trina,

Keep your head up and stay strong! Please don't give in. If it helps, we have all been there and everyone gets frustrated with their hair from time to time. I am also going through it right now, but chemicals will never ever ever ever ever be an option for me again. I am also coming up on my eighth month being natural and I plan to stay here. You have made great progress so far, even though you may not see it or realize it yourself. Think about what a great role model you are being to your daughters in teaching them how to love and appreciate their hair in its natural state. You can't do that wholeheartedly if you go back to the creamy crack. You may be sending them mixed signals, you know? If you want straight hair again, and it's in your budget, maybe you could just try wearing wigs for different looks. Or get some wigs that may be already braided or in different styles. Then when you get tired of the wigs, you could wear your hair in its natural state and
maybe then your desire to process will be long gone. That way, you can also show your daughters that when they get older they can "transform" their looks without heat and chemicals. Also, you can experiment with some products that are right in your kitchen like Lina suggested. Or if it's not in your kitchen, try to just get a few when you go to the grocery store. (That was some great advice, Lina.) Sometimes we tend to take care of others before we take care of ourselves, because it was the way we were taught. But sometimes we can't take care of someone else until we take care of us first. (hope that made sense.) Even if you think the grocery stores are too pricey (as they sometimes are) try getting some of those things from the dollar store in your area. You should be able to stock up with no problem. Also, if that is still not an option, just take your time using the products that you have, and remember that less is more. Maybe your styles are not coming out as
you want them to because of the amount of product you're using. Try working with less and see if the outcome is different on your styles. Enlist the help of your good, supportive husband and children. Maybe you could find a friend or family member (like mama) to put the magic touch on your hair, just like your husband cut your hair for you in the past. I know you said finances are tight, so maybe you could offer someone your services in exchange for theirs. There's no shame in bringing the barter system back. (e.g. offer to babysit for a friend or run errands in exchange for a new hairstyle, etc. etc.) If noone is willing to help out with your hair, call around in your area to see if there are any free community classes you can take to learn how to do different styles. Or maybe there is a cosmetology school you can visit. There are some students there who may be able to do different styles at a fraction of the cost of going to a regular salon. Just don't let them
talk you into relaxing if you know deep down it's not what you really want or you're just frustrated. Or maybe you need to just sit down with your husband and have a heart to heart. Tell him what you are feeling, and ask him if there is something you guys could cut corners on or spend less money on so that you can "create" a monthly (or weekly, bi-weekly, whatever) hair budget for yourself. For example, if you guys pay to have someone upkeep your yard, ask if you could use that money instead to get some healthier hair products that will work with your natural hair, and then suggest that you two upkeep the yard together, or you can do it as a family. That way, you will get what you want, and you will still get the yard done, and you will be spending quality time with your husband (and maybe even your children). Tell him that your daughters will also benefit from it too, so that he will know you all are getting the most out of every dollar. Then maybe you could donate
the other hair products to a local women's shelter in your area, so you're not just throwing stuff away. If you go out together as a family, use that money instead for your hair expenses, and have a family game night or rent movies instead of going to the theater, etc. etc. Girl, you have to learn how to use your resources and I know you can! Also, look at some websites that are educating women about the dangers of relaxers and the irreparable damage they can cause. Think long and hard. Do you really want to go back to gambling with your hair and its health? Make a list of all the wonderful things you like about your natural hair, and how that may change if you decide to go back to relaxing. Look at Diego2Memphis' recent comic strips, Val and Nadine, for the month of July. Or if you haven't been looking at them at all, now is a good time to start with the archives and work your way up. Maybe that will help you find whatever it is you think you need to get over this
difficult and frustrating period. I also hope that what we have been saying is also helping...I know I am politicking hard to try to help you through this. (can't you tell?????) And if all else fails, just think back and remember why you started this journey in the first place. Look back over your own hair album for inspiration and look within yourself to find the strength you need to not stray from the path you have chosen. In closing, you have come a long way to just turn back and throw it all away now on a whim, whether you think so or not. The only people who should be living by the European standard of beauty already are. You are living by the African American standard of beauty because you are beautiful, because you are strong, because you are confident, and you are not ashamed to be the person you were intended to be. You can do this and you are worth it, and I know that you know you are worth it.

best wishes,

Kim

p.s. Thanks for sharing with us. We are always here for help and support.

Hi Kim--

I found my notebook with notes for the course, but not any of my papers. Unfortunately, I saved EVERYTHING from undergrad and I have trouble finding anything when I need it. My degree was in biology, and I have two minors, sociology and classical studies. I saved all my books and stuff because I paid over $4000 for those books and I wasn't about to get little or nothing selling them back!

Anyway, a brief description of my essay is that I discussed how hair styles in ancient Africa could illustrate wealth, status, and whether or not a woman was married, single, or ready to have a husband. I went on to discuss how our hair is an important link to our cultural background and ties to the motherland. Also, how today African-American women are affected by society's ideals of how we should wear our hair, and how styling each other's hair, in ancient Africa and now, brings closeness to us and a sense of community.

I wish I could find the actual paper--it's much better written than my little sypnosis.

Tobi
Kimberly Shaw <shortycocoa@...

Tobi & Sabrina,

very well stated. Sabrina I like how you summed up the major points of your essay. Tobi do you still have your essay? Would you mind posting it for the rest of us?

best wishes,

Kim

Hi everyone :-)
I mostly read more than post on here so most of you dont know me.
My name is Sandy and when I started my natural journey I was 1 month
pregnant (BTW: I didnt know I was pregnant when I went natural I
think that had something to do with a little thing called devine
intervention lol) And I couldnt be happier. I just recently gave
birth to Janessa Lina Schlang on July 10th at 9:10 am. She weighed 7
lbs 4 ounces and is 19 inches long. She is my first born and is also
my life and some day she will understand the perks of being natural
because she too will be a natural until she can make her own
decision on whether or not to resort to the "creamy crack". Since
she has been born I've been fairly overwhelmed. I havent had much
time lately to actually do my hair in different styles. The wash n
go has been my best friend lol
I would like to invite you guys to check out my hair albums and my
bubbling baby girl. Check out both of the albums because one is old
and one is new. Let me know what you guys think......
old album:
www.fotki.com/SandyG83
new album:
www.fotki.com/NaturalMiamiSis
Your fellow natural new mommy
Sandy :O)

Hi Kim--

I'm a little annoyed with my mother about the whole perm issue because not only was I forbidden to get a perm, I wasn't allowed to get my hair straightened either. Occasionally, she blow-dried it straight--I got it pressed twice during the year I was 17, and finally, a couple months before I turned 18, she let me get a perm. (Probably because I was about to go away to school and I'm sure she knew I was going to find someone to put perm in my hair!)

My sister received a perm around the same time that I did, but she was only 12. Now she has young daughters, one with waist-length hair, the other with hair past their shoulders. They are under 12, and their hair is showing signs of thinning because the relaxer. My sister thinks that since she doesn't have the time to perm their hair every six weeks, that's the reason there are problems with hair breakage. She herself has a 'texturizer'.

I just can't believe that my mother, who was so against perms when we were young, now acts like there is nothing wrong with my young nieces getting perms, especially since they are way younger with their perms than my sister and I. She seems to like my hair, but I know she would really rather me wear it straight.

I think that since my hair had been natural for so long, it was relatively easy to accept my natural hair. I grew tired of the perm by the time I had my son at 23, but wasn't brave enough to go natural. I was so envious of women with locs and natural hair. I finally started locing in 2003, and every day I'm so happy I went natural.

Tobi
Kimberly Shaw <shortycocoa@...

Tobi & Shay,

I totally agree with you ladies here. You both made some very good points. My mother from time to time will comment on how she may have to do the same thing I did and just cut off her relaxed hair. She is suffering from the old "beautician no-show" and "beautician M.I.A." syndrome Diego2Memphis also enlightened us about. I must say I do not miss those days, and as soon as I got hip to what was happening as a permie, I learned how to do my own hair sans chemicals. And my roller sets and braid outs, etc. used to be so on point, that when I did finally go to our beautician to get my regular dose of creamy crack, she was complimenting me on my hair and asking me what I did to get my hair like that. So I told her. But that was the last time I ever got my hair relaxed, and after that I transitioned straight into natural. But getting back to my mother, she will always just talk outloud to herself when I am around about her hair. One time she was saying that whenever she
got a hold of our hair dresser she was going to just get her hair relaxed (she brings her own Just for Me with her, as if she if falling for the lie of "no lye" that the hair care companies are selling) and then get it wrapped. She has said herself that she likes the wrap but it always has her edges looking "ate up" from brushing it all the time. I want to scream so badly that the brushing may be contributing, but it is not just the brushing alone, it is in conjunction with the d#!@ chemicals!!!! And some days she will be standing in the bathroom burning her hair straight with the hotcomb on the instances when she can't "track miss brenda down," exclaiming that she doesn't want a perm right now because it is just too hot outside. Every now and then I would wash, condition, and roller set my mom's hair for her but she is just impatient. She wants her hair done but then complains about the time it takes to get there. She will get braids and then when they are taken out,
she will ask if I think her hair has grown. I will look and tell her yes, because her hair did grow, but her hair grew because she was not manipulating it, not solely because it was braided as she seems to think. But then it will break off and she's right back where she started because she doesn't take care of her hair. Everytime I try to talk to her about it and tell her that what she is doing is not good, she says she doesn't need to do her hair or maintain between salon visits because that is what she is paying them for. And I don't understand where that logic came from, because when I was younger she did not handle me and my hair that way. I stayed wedged between her legs to get my hair braided after she washed & conditioned it, then ripped through it with a comb that was too small. And I guess when she was fed up with that cycle, she started pressing my hair into submission and then I never knew what my natural hair looked like underneath all that grease. When
she got tired of that, I stayed at a beauty shop learning how to "waste my saturdays" very early in life. And then as soon as we got home, I had to roll my hair up and put a scarf on it so it would "last." Then (you see where i'm going with this) she got the notion to start chemically processing my hair against my will. And like a good little girl I obliged her because I was raised to not disobey my parents, and also out of fear of getting slapped into next week. It's no wonder some black girls grow up with low self esteem. But before I get too far off course, in my opinion, she is the perfect candidate for natural hair, for these reasons and many more. But she will probably never see it that way, and I know it is not my job to get her to see it that way.

best wishes,

Kim

I 'rearrange' my budget as often as necessary! [INLINE]

Tobi
All Class Lady <AllClsLady@...

Please take note that I am about to start rambling. I just finished listening to my husband discuss for 20 minutes how they ruined Starship Troopers Movie because they didn't follow the book. (Do i care, that movie was made in 97)
So here goes:

I'm not one to talk about a budget but one way i get some of the things I need is the elusive grocery check. I know Gene's lunchmeat (from the deli) runs about $15 per week, so if i need something thats not in the budget.."Dag honey, can u believe they didn't have Brown sugar ham? I couldn't get honey ham cause I know u don't like it. You can take leftovers to work next week, sorry baby." Or even, "Dag, I forgot about your lunch. Those kids were distracting me, I knew there was a reason I was over at the deli...Don't worry, next week I won't take the kids and I'll remember! Voila! Some money for Kim's needs :) Wait until the last minute to purchase deoderant, it should be on sale next week, instead of getting Dove for the whole house, I'll get a 4 pack for our bathroom and a 3 pack of Ivory for the boys bathroom (i go every week, so next week i'll hook em up with soap and deoderant they should make it another week)
As long as we have food no one is actually checking the grocery bill. "Damn Kim, the grocerys were $250 this week? What are we gonna do when these boys really start eating?" I don't know Gene, baby I just don't know (as I'm cutting price tags off stuff and throwing it in the closet).

Ignore me, I'm crazy like that. But I feel you thats why i still only use the olive oil and let me just say that Lite Olive Oil makes some darn good french fries. I know I've mentioned repeatedly that its $15 at SAms Club for 64 oz. But i've been buying it for years I remember when it was like $8.

Where do you live Trina? Believe me, I know its not El Paso, TX shoot the only nappy here with me is my coworker and she also transferred.

Ok finished rambling now...

Kimmy

Hi All,

I have locs that I started in March 2006, anyway I want to know if anyone knows where I can get those spiked curlers. I have been to Walmart and Zellers but they don't sell them. Does anyone know of a website that I can purchase these.

Thx, Debbie

Here's yet another hair curl number site:
http://www.curlyhairsalon.com/hairtypes.html
As a counterpoint to the great discussion on permies being defensive -- once I had to defend myself to a friend who lives in Japan. He asked me how I can call my Sisterlocked hair "natural" when I do such much to it! Good point! It is pretty manipulated, but I discussed the chemistry and psychology behind the relaxer and I think he got it. :)
--
Brunsli
2.5 years
www.brunsli.blogspot.com
www.brunsli.com
Or read my interview at http://www.curlyhairsalon.com/sisterlocks-pictures.html

Kaya,

How do you add photos to this section?

best wishes,

Kim
Kaya Casper <kcasper@...

Tobi,

I think I have heard of these books before. The titles sound familiar. I will have to check them out. I am trying to read everything I can about natural hair. I recently ordered Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America and Tenderheaded. I am enjoying both books.

best wishes,

Kim

Tobi-Velicia Johnson <tvelicia@...

I have experienced white people not realizing that we don't have naturally straight hair.

I had often wondering growing up, if we were the majority (as Black people) would white people try to do ridiculous stuff to look more like us?

I once read a book called "Day of the Drones"--it's sci fi, but an easy read. Anyway, the book basically was in the future and the world as we knew it was destroyed. Most of the book is set in Africa, and people who were dark-skinned were in power. One character in the book was not going to be allowed to get advanced education because his skin was 'too light'.

Another book, I think it was called "Black Like Me" was about how someone developed a machine that turned black skin to white. Black people were running themselves over to change their color! When one 'white' couple had a baby after getting married, the OB doctor had to inform them that something was 'very,very wrong'--their child was born extra black! Because unbekwonst to each other, both members of the couple had formerly been black and they had changed their skin color. Eventually, though, the real white people got tired of 'these damn white ni**as', so they started selling lotions that gave your skin a tan/brown tint.

I guess somebody always has to be 'better than'...!

Tobi

Tobi & Sabrina,

very well stated. Sabrina I like how you summed up the major points of your essay. Tobi do you still have your essay? Would you mind posting it for the rest of us?

best wishes,

Kim
Tobi-Velicia Johnson <tvelicia@...

Sabrina--

Wow! You earned that A! And you were right to use the reference to 'crackheads', I feel it is an appropriate analogy that seeking to gain the beauty standards of society can be addictive--I've read about people getting plastic surgery and then finding that they can't stop! First a boob job, then eyes done, tummy tuck--all in the name of beauty!

In undergrad I took a 'culture' sociology course and wrote about the importance of hair braiding to ancient Africans and to African-Americans today (even though I was wrapped up in creamy crack every six week still). Some of the handful of black females in the course took offense--I forgave them since they seemed like children to me (after all I was 30-years-old returning to school), but I did earn an A on my essay.

Tobi
Sabrina Gunton <sgunton@cox.net

Trinesha asked:

<<Is there a way we can read you paper you wrote? seems like it would be interesting

It would take me a long time to find it...I think its on a floppy (the computers on campus still take floppies, but my laptop does not), and I have yet to transfer all the important stuff over to a USB stick.

But, in summary this is what I said in the paper:

1--I compared black women's actions to that of crackheads at a crackhouse, winos around a liquor store and smokers standing outside a building in the winter time. I talked about the pathology(of conforming to a standard that we cannot achieve) being passed down thru the generations, affecting boys and girls.

2--suggested an intervention, a hair intervention

3--told of my personal hair journey, and my struggle to convince my sister and her daughters that they were beautiful. The 'Hot Comb Chronicles', where I explained what it was like to get burned(Ouch!--"I didn't do it, your hair holds so much heat--be still!") by my mom every Sunday before going to church (or any important occasion), was humorous, but poignant...

4--provided googobs of statistics(that no one disputed, they were hung up on #1)

5--provided a bit of history

Before the final draft, several women suggested that I leave out the 'crackhead' comment, and all references to drugs, but since I sometimes do the opposite of what is expected, I not only left it in, I placed it in my opening paragraph. I had an argument with a couple of BW who thought I was airing dirty laundry...

For this paper, we had 5 people review and comment...
--1 black male student who was kind of blasé about it all, didn't think it was a big deal, although he did comment that he did like straight hair

--2 white male students who had no clue that black women relaxed their hair. They thought that I (wearing locs) went to the salon to get my hair done. They thought that all the black women on campus (even darker skinned sisters with blond hair) with straight hair was born with that type of hair. They were so surprised that a year later when I bumped into one of them on campus, he said that everytime he saw a black women with long straight hair, he wondered where she got it from. He no longer thought that black people went to a salon to get their hair 'kinked up'.

--1 black female student from South Africa. She said that I didn't understand what it was like, that I didn't know how hard it was to take care of black hair. I wanted to scream: WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU THINK I HAVE? But, I didn't 'cause I realized that no one showed her how to take care of her hair. She also felt bad after reading my paper because she relaxed her daughter's hair, and she knew that it was painful for her little girl.

--1 black female student/American. She didn't say much, just talked about 'freedom of choice', and how 'easy it was'. Never thought there was a negative aspect to chemically changing her hair.

The professor wasn't surprised because she had a black roommate in college and black friends and knew what black women did to themselves in the name of beauty.

I earned a 'A' for this paper.

Sabrina
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you do criticize them, you are a mile away,
and you have their shoes...

I live in the fab. city of Chicago. But I secretly wan to move to Texas. i've told my hubby a couple of times, but he thinks I am crazy.

Trina

Kim,

You are crazy. I want to see those pictures with the bone in your hair too. Don't forget the club, just in case you need to knock some sense into your husband. Did he marry you for you or did he marry you for your hair? Or maybe he feels like he wants to revisit the "trophy" stage that some men seem obsessed with? At any rate, he should understand that people change and change is a part of life. But it's all about how we handle the change and accept it. Because if you don't change, you don't grow. What is bringing on this negativity in the first place? Does he think the change in you is making the two of you grow apart? Is he just insecure in how fierce you look now (because I'm sure you do) as opposed to your permie days? Do you think maybe he is not as confident as he was before and is afraid someone else will try and snatch you up and that is how he is choosing to handle it? I need details.

best wishes,

Kim
All Class Lady <AllClsLady@...

I am just "NOW" getting negativity from my husband about my hair. In general he has been happy about it as long as I wasn't in those dry scratchy braids. But oh boy, blow drying my hair last week created some problems, now he's got commentary and touches my hair saying "oh my finger got caugh" and other BS. So last night he actually came out and said "u need to wear your hair straight, thats how it was when we started dating and thats the way I like it."
Whateva, Mr. Millender!
I let him know I am not 19 and totally absorbed in what he thinks. 3yr of dating, 12 yrs of marriage, 3 kids and multiple relocations...I worry about my hair and you worry about yours. He come at me with somemore commentary I won't blow dry it for our Anniversary in November! Shoot, think I'm playing...I'll meet him at a club with a damn bone in my head and some matted down hair

Kim

yeah Tobi - more updates, please...

anyone else have updates they would like to share? I think I'm having "styling block"...

Lina

Tobi & Shay,

I totally agree with you ladies here. You both made some very good points. My mother from time to time will comment on how she may have to do the same thing I did and just cut off her relaxed hair. She is suffering from the old "beautician no-show" and "beautician M.I.A." syndrome Diego2Memphis also enlightened us about. I must say I do not miss those days, and as soon as I got hip to what was happening as a permie, I learned how to do my own hair sans chemicals. And my roller sets and braid outs, etc. used to be so on point, that when I did finally go to our beautician to get my regular dose of creamy crack, she was complimenting me on my hair and asking me what I did to get my hair like that. So I told her. But that was the last time I ever got my hair relaxed, and after that I transitioned straight into natural. But getting back to my mother, she will always just talk outloud to herself when I am around about her hair. One time she was saying that whenever she
got a hold of our hair dresser she was going to just get her hair relaxed (she brings her own Just for Me with her, as if she if falling for the lie of "no lye" that the hair care companies are selling) and then get it wrapped. She has said herself that she likes the wrap but it always has her edges looking "ate up" from brushing it all the time. I want to scream so badly that the brushing may be contributing, but it is not just the brushing alone, it is in conjunction with the d#!@ chemicals!!!! And some days she will be standing in the bathroom burning her hair straight with the hotcomb on the instances when she can't "track miss brenda down," exclaiming that she doesn't want a perm right now because it is just too hot outside. Every now and then I would wash, condition, and roller set my mom's hair for her but she is just impatient. She wants her hair done but then complains about the time it takes to get there. She will get braids and then when they are taken out,
she will ask if I think her hair has grown. I will look and tell her yes, because her hair did grow, but her hair grew because she was not manipulating it, not solely because it was braided as she seems to think. But then it will break off and she's right back where she started because she doesn't take care of her hair. Everytime I try to talk to her about it and tell her that what she is doing is not good, she says she doesn't need to do her hair or maintain between salon visits because that is what she is paying them for. And I don't understand where that logic came from, because when I was younger she did not handle me and my hair that way. I stayed wedged between her legs to get my hair braided after she washed & conditioned it, then ripped through it with a comb that was too small. And I guess when she was fed up with that cycle, she started pressing my hair into submission and then I never knew what my natural hair looked like underneath all that grease. When
she got tired of that, I stayed at a beauty shop learning how to "waste my saturdays" very early in life. And then as soon as we got home, I had to roll my hair up and put a scarf on it so it would "last." Then (you see where i'm going with this) she got the notion to start chemically processing my hair against my will. And like a good little girl I obliged her because I was raised to not disobey my parents, and also out of fear of getting slapped into next week. It's no wonder some black girls grow up with low self esteem. But before I get too far off course, in my opinion, she is the perfect candidate for natural hair, for these reasons and many more. But she will probably never see it that way, and I know it is not my job to get her to see it that way.

best wishes,

Kim

<tvelicia@...

I go through the same thing with friends and family who are permies. My best friend of over 20 years has permed her hair for the past 20 years, and her hair has gotten so thin, you can see her scalp. She has it cut very short, but now bald spots can be seen.

I asked her if the perm is worth her losing all her hair--in fact sometimes she has weave added but her hair is now so thin the weave can be detected. She tells me that I was able to go natural and loc because my hair is so thick. But I reminded her that even though I grew my relaxed hair long, I had balding thin spot the size of a 50 cent piece at the crown of my head. I was beginning to think I was suffering from hereditary pattern-baldness (the female baldness)--my father has lost his hair and the gene is passed from father to daughter.

Now that very same spot has grown in as thick as the rest of my hair and I know it's because I no longer perm my hair.

Our friends and family make take a long time to accept that natural hair is healthier--some may never accept it that natural hair is beautiful and like you said, "God doesn't make mistakes."

Tobi
Shay Johnson <sdjonesjohnson@gmail.com

I just had a conversation/argument with a friend of mine on this very subject. I am not a very religious person but I am very spiritual if you can understand that. We were discussing a very controversial subject in which she made the comment "God doesn't make mistakes". I changed the subject and told her I liked her new hair style (she is a permie). She told me that she liked my hair pulled back in the afro puff. We talked a little longer and she made the comment that she would not look right with natural hair and that she preferred her hair to be long and straight and blowing in the wind. At first I was not going to say anything but I had to. I told her that I have no problem with people who prefer straight hair, however if you have never experienced your hair natural how can you "prefer" straight? Also if God made no mistakes then why are you saying that you would not look right with natural hair? That is the way God made you and if he made you in his image how
can you say that you "dont look right" the way He intended you to look? She got kind of mad and said she didn't want to talk about it anymore and that I always get so defensive when we talk about hair. I let it go at that point

Trina,

Keep your head up and stay strong! Please don't give in. If it helps, we have all be