Hey , this IS a little long but thought it was a good and on point article/editorial
It's by
Serene Bridgett Hollingsworth
Editorial Director & Publisher
www.bwmmag.com
Like so many of you I receive hundreds of emails everyday. There are few I honestly enjoy reading. Exhausting right? As a matter of fact, I've begun organizing, categorizing and subcategorizing them. What?! Let's see there are: "Not Read", "Read Next Month", "Answer Today", "Answer Today For Sure, "Cute" "Really Cute", "Review", "Review Today", "Review Next Week", "Jokes" "Personal", "JR" huh--that's right "JR". Short for my man. Who'd have ever thought a folder for my relationship? What has the world come to; a neatly compartmentalized cyber-love folder? I'll come back to "JR" in a minute as this really is about JR and this Publisher. But allow me to digress for a moment about emails please!
On most days answering emails is taxing for me. It's really much more than a job -- replying to emails, answering questions, meeting deadlines and putting out fires via cyberspace. I even have email "meetings" where several emails are exchanged. We begin and complete a project while never once speaking or looking at one another. There are no power lunches or Martinis just more emails. Enough already!
Who can answer an email fast enough? I walk into my office and there are three emails and voicemails soliciting my attention with questions such as: "Did I receive the first email"? What?! NO! Are we expected to be sedentary--sit and stare at these computer screens and do nothing more than reply to emails all day? Who's working? May I take a lunch please? The residuals to this pattern--of answering emails and sitting in my office minus lunch-included a loss of 10 pounds for me. But please allow me to vent.
What did we do before email? Would someone please answer that question? Could someone please pick up the phone, dial my number and ask me to lunch? Could you please pick up the phone and inquire the whereabouts and details for a real meeting? Just please not another PRIORITY email. I know most people would rather receive an email. It's quick, gets it off your plate and on to another's in a hurry; and email has its place in our hectic and fast paced world. I concur. But c'mon enough is enough! Whew, I am sweating here.
Just like many of you, every week I sift through tons of emails to determine which ones to delete, and still I end up with more than 300 saved emails. What?! Who is sending all of those emails and are they really urgent? Stop it with that priority button already! Do we really think people read them first, because we mark them as priority? Seriously? I mark them priority too, but it makes you wonder hah?
Well, in the midst of all that composing and replying to priority emails, there is this one bright spot in my cyber day-- those special emails from "JR". Yes, back to "JR". As I aforementioned, this is really about JR and this Publisher. His emails are usually nippy--one-liners that come in the wee-hours of the morning while the queen is yet sleeping: "Hey beautiful, morning pretty, hey you, wish you were here." They make me beam, and in the midst of my Cyber driven world, JR allows me to take a me-moment. Refreshing. Admittedly being the esoteric, philosophical publisher and lover of words that I am JR's e-mails, though sweet, intriguing and anticipated each morning did get under my skin initially. Didn't he have more to say? What was really going on here, and was I truly complaining considering I am the woman who receives more than one hundred emails daily and if so, why?
The truth is JR's emails bring a smile to my face. They allow me to reflect on our most recent conversation or the last time we were together. His emails, though short and sweet, intoxicate me. What?! Yes, in a world plagued with questions that can only be answered via email because your voicemail is full, emails that are pages in length while requesting everything and anything ASAP, emails with jokes that aren't funny, email chains, email solicitations for Viagara and all manner of drugs-- JR's brief emails are a breath of fresh air. I think he's the only one who gets it. He keeps it simple. So, why did we enter an email war? What went wrong?
Let's see, where to begin? Last Friday evening, I felt the pulsating need to test the power of email with JR. I decided that I would make him communicate, however in hindsight; it was not a good idea. JR and I had a disagreement earlier in the week. We didn't come to any conclusion, which satisfied me at the time, and try as I might he wasn't talking. Well being the email professional that I am, I decided to type an email to my man. Why oh why did I start down that road?
Our communication via email had always been so gentle and easy. I liked it. His emails never required an urgent reply. They didn't rock the boat. They were cute. They were his thoughts and his way of letting me know I was on his mind. Nevertheless, Friday I was determined to get answers, make my point, so I proceeded to type a T-H-R-E-E page email to JR after already having a one-hour conversation about who knows what hours earlier. Yes I'd lost it, but I justified my actions because I was furious with him and a little hurt, which was evidently reflected via my sharp words, so I hit send! Take that JR! I did it, and it was on. I wanted to call the Internet "Mail Demon": STOP THAT EMAIL! But my thoughts had forever entered cyberspace and JR's Inbox.
What ensued was World War III.
JR responded to my professionally written attack with a fury I'd never seen in him before. I was taken by his response. This was definitely not his character. But did I reply? Being the professional email diva I am, of course, I did. Needless to say our battle went on for close to 45 minutes. What?! Yes via email! Email is a wonderful tool when used correctly, but it should not take the place of personal communication. Emails cannot share the smile on your face or the inflection in your voice. It will not reveal our tears, and it won't allow you to read my eyes. Email can be down right lethal.
Fortunately, I did wise up, but only after saying some rather hurtful things to JR and he to me. I did come to my senses and sent an email apologizing to JR for my behavior and the mess I'd made of our Friday. I realized our relationship shouldn't be handled this way. After the repentant email I immediately picked up the phone, and I apologized profusely to him again and he to me. We were both wrong and admitted it.
I am glad to say our ending was a happy one, but the truth is many relationships, both professional and personal, have been utterly destroyed via email. Sadly, I can attest to this. I've lost friendships and would be colleagues sparring via email. People---no matter how right we are email simply wasn't designed for this purpose; however, realizing email is here to stay and knowing most of us must partake on a daily basis, below are some tips to help make email communication more effective and efficient. This Publisher learned the hard way but you don't have to:
1. Keep your emails short and sweet. They'll get the attention of the reader faster, and you're more likely to get a speedy response. JR is on to something here.
2. Remember use email as a tool to communicate. It's not the only source of communication.
3. When there is a misunderstanding STOP emailing. Pick up the phone. If need be make plans for a lunch or dinner meeting. Nobody wins sparring via email.
4. Never handle your relationship disagreements via email! It's not worth it.
5. Before sending your email first send it to yourself. Read it. If you have any doubts about how it will be perceived chances are you should rethink and rewrite.
6. Save your email in your Drafts folder for 24 hours. Chances are you'll feel differently about a subject after some rest and a good meal.
7. Appreciate the way your man/woman communicates. If short and sweet is his cup of tea, love it and remember email is only one tool used to communicate.
8. Write a letter. The art of letter writing is almost obsolete. What a joy to receive a letter in the mail.
9. Not sure what to say in an email? Send an e-card. There are hundreds of online e-card sites and one is bound to have the right message for you.
10. If you don't want anyone else to read it NEVER send it via email.
11. Don't send death notices via email. I've received a couple, and admittedly it just didn't sit well with me. I didn't know whether to delete, save it, reply to it or what.
12. Employers never fire an employee via email! I received one of these emails some years ago. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, and even though I am not proud of it, I forwarded this poorly written email to colleagues.
Well, I received an email from my JR this morning. His one-liner: "Hey you". It was classic and beautiful JR. It was so simple yet complete. I was elated to have him back.
Until next week may your cup over flow....
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